Can't sleep ...

2006-24-02 at 03:44 am. Used tags: , , , , ,

In nights like this, when my biorythm is synced to some place on the other side of our planet and my mind is wandering around, I usually take a nice long night walk in an attempt to follow it.

I go say hello to the crows, continue through the sleeping town to the river, follow it upstream, past the little hill with a church, turn west trough the fields and follow the rails back home. Or I go to the fields past the pharmaceutical factory, across the road to the little patch of trees and back. Or I drive to the nearby airfield and walk by its only runway. Either way it's at least one hour of walking.

So I walk in the muddy fields, trying to follow my mind ... which jumps around like a wild animal ... one moment it's all high and jumpy, full of joy about my recent achievement at my workplace, then next moment it falls down in the mud and drags behind my feet because it got some unpleasant association from that memory ... then notices a rabbit and runs across the fiel ... a rabbit, in this dirty polluted field! Then it stops suddnely and comes back, whining about pollution, ugly people and all bad that's going on around the world ... And then it's back on my shoulder, dreaming about what's still left on this planet to enjoy ...

See, it's not easy to be me. A coworker once said that I'm both a radical technocrat and a romantic hippy ... maybe, but that's just me and my mind.

two comments


Easy is boring anyway. I have similar problems with my mind too, it’s uncontrollable as wind. But it’s fun for me that your own body is full of secrets and “missions” you need to accomplish and resolve. It’s a nice adventure, this life we have.

Sebastjan (Email ) (URL) - 14-03-’06 11:05

A nice description of life inside and outside of you, their melting togehter and falling apart… perhaps the rabbit was the same (white?) rabbit, who draged Alice into the Wonderland where she took 2 cakes to many times and finnaly saw what she was for real.. and her mind came back to her too. We all are Alice if we admit it or not. And if one admits it, it’s not easy to be him/her. But it’s interesting! So, keep discovering new lands. You’re not alone. :)

Marija (Email ) - 28-05-’06 02:31

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